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The cake is a lie...

Age. 41
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. YAHTZEE!!
Location Wyoming, MI
School. Grand Valley State Univ
» More info.


October 2016

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Monday. 2.2.09 10:43 pm
Holy effing crap! I made five dollars.

After how ever the fuck long I've had this journal... five dollars. In another three years, I might have ten and what a lucky day THAT will be.

Of course,this would require me to actually care enough about making money off this journal to post regularly -- and it would also require that I carefully craft my posts so that people would want to read them. PAH! I say. I shall remain as I always have... belligerent and hard to understand.

Also, cardinals.

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Random Thought Number 132: Who was the better Joker?
Sunday. 9.28.08 11:26 am
Heath Ledger's performance was subtle and nuanced; he was actually menacing -- downright scary, actually -- yet, as horrible as he was, you found yourself laughing along with him. Unlike Jack Nicholson, who was a sad, fat parody of himself at his peak in 'The Shining' or 'One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest'.

Regarding any supposed talent Nicholson may or may not have. He has only ever played one part... Jack "Fucking" Nicholson. Prove me wrong.

No, seriously.

You can't because it's true. He plays the same god-damned character in EVERY movie: a grating, sleazy, womanizing pig with a stupid, high-pitched laugh that breaks every window in a fifty mile radius. Thanks, Jack. Asshole.

Also, Michael Keaton as the Batman? Are you SERIOUS? He's a freaking midget!!!! A four foot tall Batman inspires NO terror in anyone, anywhere. However, it does inspire nearly uncontrollable laughter. (At least for me it does. Really -- that one scene where he hauls that dude up by his lapels and growls: "I'm Batman" -- I laugh hysterically for hours on end, until someone finally wrestles me to the ground and sedates me.)

Val Kilmer came a bit closer, but he was an asshole and he clearly didn't really care. Seriously, go back and look. You can see glazed look of bored disdain etched into his face in every frame of the film. He nearly screams, "I'M DOING THIS FOR THE MONEY!" Also, Jim Carey inspires a kind of hate in me that goes beyond words. It's the kind of hate that is pure... almost primal. And Tommy, Tommy, Tommy... oh... sweetie... *sigh* I'm at a loss! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, TOMMY??!! And then I start to pummel Tommy Lee Jones about the neck and face until he regrets his performance and offers up the ENTIRE WORLD a heartfelt apology.

I'd talk about Batman & Robin, but I'm not allowed to. Court injunction.

***Note to Burton-philes: Sorry, but I think Burton's Batman sucks. It's just an opinion and it won't hurt you. For really.

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My Weird Body Part Deux
Friday. 9.19.08 7:31 am

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My Weird Body
Wednesday. 9.17.08 7:37 pm
My toe is doing this weird pulling thing. Srsly. When I move it -- I feel a tug from somewhere inside or around the top joint.

It's fucking up my Christmas!!

Every time I stretch my toes out I can feel it.

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Bellobration and some political nuggets to chew on
Tuesday. 9.16.08 9:39 pm
AW! I'm no longer the Nutang Anti-Christ! I have a interest rating of 7 now!!

Not sure if that's good or bad.

As the French say: C'est la vie!

On another note. Found out some disturbing shit. Please pass this along if you feel like it.

10 Things You Didn't Know About McCain

NOTE: I don't want to turn this into a whole thing. If you're interested, go there. If not. DON'T. Because the last thing I want is a total politics nut-fest in my journal. It gives me headaches. But if you're voting and you like to read up on all sides of the issue... like me... then this'll be quite edifying.

In other news... I'm totally over Bellobration.

See the circus came to town.

They keep advertising BELLOBRATION!!! It's some kind of circus thing -- some freak show prop comedy / magician / daredevil person who wears a stupid wig and launches himself out of cannons, all for the delight of the circus's patrons. All day, it's Bello this and Bello that and IT'S A FREAKING BELLOBRATION!! Who the hell is Bello anyway? They talk about him like it's a big deal. Come and see fricking Bello! You know you want to!

Well, I DON'T. I don't want to see Bello. If it was a choice between living a long life having seen Bello, I would choose inevitable, shit-stained doom. Because I don't think I could live all my years knowing I saw some weenie in a freaking Kid n' Play wig (I'd say Kid or Play, but I forgot which one had the stupid huge ass fade) gamboling around on playground equipment. I just can't do it. It's bad enough the commercial for Barnum & Bailey's Bellobration plays nearly every other minute.

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Seriously... it's horrifying.

And it's driving me insane.

Weasels rip my flesh. THEY RIP MY FLESH!!!

Also, I'm totally obsessed with Rihanna's Disturbia. It may require an intervention.


Who d'ya think would win in a fight? Bello or Kid? I'm not really sure. From the commercials, that Bello looks pretty wily. He is white and therefore THE MAN. And THE MAN is very wily and mysterious in his ways. However, Kid is funky... He also has Play, who looks like he could rip Bello's hair off and feed it to Rick Astley -- to increase the Astley's power of the ROLL.

Of course, the REAL question I'm asking here is which of them is more irrelevant. But don' t answer. It might make me sad.

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Pointless Email Survey! YAY!
Sunday. 6.8.08 1:20 pm
So, I received this via email from my good friend Kacey. I worked with her at the bank I work at, and she was pretty much awesome. So, instead of sending this back to her and keeping it all private and whatnot, I thought it'd be a good idea to post it so the whole world could see.

And by the whole world, I mean the three or four people who actually read this journal. ^_~ (I love you guys.)

Put an 'X' in places. Do it, you know you want to.

( ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Florida
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost -- Yeah, in Detroit, of all places. Read about it here: Escape from Detroit
(x) Been on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington , DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robber
( ) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Sang Karaoke
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only?
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
(x) Been skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies -- DUDE! Who HASN'T??!!! (Amish people are exempt from this question.)

1. Any nicknames? Depends on who you ask. My dad calls me by a variety of nicknames: Boo Bear, Big Number One, Creature From Hell (or CFH, to save time), Satan, Beluga Whale (I wasn't fond of this one when I was sixteen)... People here call me Noa on occasion. But for the most part, I am just Anne.
2 Mother's name? IT'S A SECRET!
3. Favorite drink? Orange pop.
4. Tattoo?? Uh, not so much.
5. Body Piercings? My ears.
6. How much do you love your job? I like it a lot. It's a living, anyway.
7. Birthplace?? IT'S A SECRET!
8. Favorite vacation spot? Arizona or anyplace in the U.P.
9. Ever been to Africa ??? Nope, but I wouldn't mind going as long as everything was safe and stuff. Africa is a pretty volatile area politically, plus there be lions and killer hippopotamuseseses... hippopotami... hippopotamuz?
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? Uh... hells yeah!
11. Ever been on TV?? Not as far as I know. But I did shoot a couple of things for public television for a class in college.
12. Ever steal any traffic sign?? Nope. What would be the point, really?
13. Ever been in a car accident?? Yup. Two. The first was with Scott. We hit a wet spot in the road and lost control of the car. We careened into the guardrail. It was scary. The other time, I was driving myself home from work. There was a blizzard. My car skidded into the car in front of me. Lucky for us, I was only going around three MPH.
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle?? Yahtzee.
15. Favorite salad dressing?? Ranch.
16. Favorite pie?? Dutch Apple or Black Tie Mousse Cake at Olive Garden. Mmmm. OH! And ice cream pie. Mmmmmmmm...
17. Favorite number?? IT'S A SECRET!
18. Favorite movie?? AW! Do I HAVE to choose?!
19. Favorite holiday?? Thanksgiving, totally.
21. Favorite food?? Waffles.
22. Favorite day of the week? Kleigeday.
23. Favorite brand of body wash? My cat licking my face off when I go to bed at night. The best thing about it is, he doesn't stop, even when the skin starts to peel back.
24. Favorite toothpaste?? IT'S A SECRET!
25. Favorite smell?? Vanilla.
26. What do you do to relax? Um, I'll take: drawing and/or writing until my fingers bleed for one hundred, Bob.
27. Favorite gift ever given? Okay, this so depends on what the question actually means, because the wording is a bit convoluted. Does it mean the best gift I ever gave someone else? Or the best gift ever given to me. The best gift I gave someone else would be the total Kenny humiliation I gifted my sister with at my wedding. The best gift ever given to me would be 'The Crow' model kit my husband painted and put together for me -- I would also add the Kennification of my apartment by my sister as revenge for the Kenny Incident at my wedding.
28. How do you see yourself in 10 years?? I see myself as a bunny rabbit, or perhaps a lemur.
29. Furthest place you will send this message? To the moon, Alice. TO THE MOON!
30. Who will respond to this the fastest? Your mom. 

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