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The cake is a lie...
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Noacat
Age. 49
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. YAHTZEE!!
Location Wyoming, MI
School. Grand Valley State Univ
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SHUT UP, CHILD STARS!
Monday. 7.10.06 9:18 pm
Today was a weird, weird day.

One of two things happened.

One, someone tattooed, "Crazy people, come here," on my forehead without my knowing it or two, or there was a big sign outside of that said the same thing. IN HUUUUUUUUUGE NEON LETTERS...that blinked.

I won't go into it, because there's nothing worse than someone going on and on about the specifics of their job. Because it's boring and unless you work at the same bank I do, you'll have NO idea what I'm talking about. Just believe me when I say...here there be weirdos.

Also, I'm still obsessing over the Girl's Bike Club. For one reason or another I decided to rewatch the Harry Potter movies.

I'm just waiting for those little wankers to weave their way down the winding road of drunken obscurity.

Yes, I'm wrong and evil. BLAH BLAH BLAH

I've heard it before and BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING.

Anyway, back to the GBC. So, thinking about this I decided to troll the internet and what did I find!! They've already started!!

For reals. Type in Emma Watson and beer and you get a whole page of "Hermione Granger" herself chugging away on long neck after long neck.

So, my dreams of inducting at least one Harry Potter alum into the GBC might come true. Though, seeing as she is a girl I'm not sure if she's eligible for the GBC. Maybe if Daniel "Harry Potter" Radcliff goes on a bender, we can chuck her in there as his bike bitch.

Hee.

Just imagine. Old Danny boy on an electric pink Huffy, streamers flickering in the wind as he weaves down the road, drunk off his ass in ratty old repro robes that sort of look like his old costume. Behind him, perched on the wheel bolts is Emma, makeup running, hair all askew...a long neck covered by a bag clutched in her boney hand.

And as she takes another chug, she leans forward and bellows, "I'M HERMIONE FUCKING GRANGER!!"

Before burping a little and puking all over Dan, who crashes the bike into a light pole. And as she rolls on the ground moaning, her cheap pleated skirt hiked over a pimply, cellulite knotted thigh, she sits up...looking bleakly out at the gathering crowd as a continual stream of vomit leaks out one side of her mouth.

Actually, that makes me a little sad..

But the GBC does that to you sometimes.

Someone should post HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE SIGNS in Hollywood with Danny Bonaduce's face on them, with the cautionary words, "This Could Be You in Twenty Years".

Because...seriously child stars...seriously..

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1 Comments.


Girls Bike club? o.O Oh dear.

Actually, that sort of thing is pretty common around here. The guys thing they're being cute or something, when they're actually being pretty damn disgusting. There's a reason I'm not attracted to black guys...
» ikimashokie on 2006-07-11 12:10:18

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